Two items:

• Have you ever gotten to work and realized that your shoes don’t match? At least I have the excuse that yes, in fact, I did dress in the dark today.
• Helpful hint, formulated shortly after answering the door a few minutes ago: If you’re a male, and wish to sell me something, don’t give me a limp handshake and then compliment me on my eyes. I will most certainly not buy a magazine subscription from you under those circumstances.