The Dignity of Fatherhood

When I was young, the companion toy to Sit & Spin and Twister was the Hippity Hop Ball. For us kids, nothing beat sitting on one of these things and bouncing around like cocoa-puff fueled loons, inevitably tipping over repeatedly, upending furniture, knocking out a few teeth, and having a grand time. For our parents, nothing beat the sweet, uninterrupted slumber that we kids enjoyed after spending 30 minutes on the Hippity Hop Ball.

One of the Christmas toys that [Maggie->] received this year was an update to this classic toy. This one is a trifle smaller, and instead of a sphere, is shaped like a friendly animal, its four legs providing more stability than the ball had. The air valve is configured toward the aft of the critter, and the stopper in the valve sits in such a way that one can’t establish a seal with an air pump.

Thus, I found myself the other morning blowing vigorously into the bottom of a blue rubber donkey. Yep, I’m a straight man, but had a blue rubber farm animal sitting on my face while I hyperventilated.

Once again, I’m reminded that if you have any desire to retain any sense of gravitas whatsoever, don’t become a parent — your dignity will be stripped from you with a speed and thoroughness that would impress a school of piranha.