But I'm Too Young For This

Today is my 35th birthday, and dear friends have been sending wishes throughout the day. While [Chris->] deserves an honorable mention for sending along a delightful photo of [Liam->] with his finger rammed up his (Liam’s) nose to the third joint, my favorite bit of birthday prose so far comes from Fanny:

Rumour has it, dear sir, that today be your birthday. Daniel suggested I send you a “congratulatory message.” Here it goes:

First off, I want to congratulate you on having decided, one day way back when, to be born. This shows not only good judgement on your part, but also that you know how to have a good time. I mean, this Earth place is pretty swell, ain’t it? Give or take a little sorrow here, a little loneliness there, and those times in the middle of the night when you stub your toe on a piece of furniture…

Secondly, I want to congratulate you on your chosen date of birth. This really shows remarkable wisdom and discerment. March is a fine month, what with the onset of spring and all, and folks are now reasonably recovered from the holidays to start hankerin’ for a little partyin’. And here you swoop right in to give us a reason to. I mean, wow. Plus, the 10th is definitely a most worthy date, vastly superior to the 9th or the 11th. Ten is such a nice number–it’s so easy to multiply and divide things by ten. (Though I have much regard for this date of March 10th, still I must say that March 12th is finer in all regards. Sorry.)

Finally, I want to congratulate you on having maintained, year after year for I don’t know how long, this habit of being alive, which demontrates admirable stick-to-it-iveness and get-up-and-go-ness. Also, again, it shows that you know when you’re having a good time, which is more than can be said for most people.

As you have amply proven yourself to be a guy who knows how to enjoy himself, I hope and pray you will do so today, as you most certainly deserve it, and that the people around you will help facilitate the good times. Who knows? maybe someday I’ll be around to share a celebratory brew on some such occasion. Stranger things have happened.

Happy Birthday, Sean!


Thanks for the delightful wishes, Fanny! I’ll look forward to hoisting a pint with you whenever you find yourself down Texas way.