Weekend To-Do: Postmortem

  • Discuss their recent urological procedures with two friends. Get the willies.
  • Play for offering at church. Cause long-term downward spiral, eventual collapse of church finances.
  • Celebrate family members’ birthdays by eating enormous heaping piles of dead cow, turkey. Vow never to eat BBQ again.
  • Eat BBQ again.
  • Make stuffed jalepeƱos. Realize belatedly that wrapping saran wrap around one’s hands isn’t as good as having actual gloves. Endure fiery agony.
  • Eat 52 stuffed jalepeƱos, partly because they’re delicious, but mostly as vengeance for aforementioned fiery agony.
  • Finish reading Harry Potter. Lament having job, precluding going back and reading all of the books again over course of next week.