As part of my ongoing struggle to balance being a good father with being a good husband, good employee, and not going stark raving bats, I’ve recently begun taking the kids out individually once a month for a “Daddy Date.” It has been a load of fun for me to have the one-on-one time with each of them, and is proving helpful for strengthening family bonds and communication.

It’s interesting to see the various things that the kids are excited about doing. Though some of them, like trips to Mr. Gatti’s or the local arcade, are things I would have expected them to enjoy, others have taken me completely by surprise. Abigail has recently developed a rabid enthusiasm for car washes. Our last date, accordingly, included going through the LaserWash and then catching Treasure Planet at the local $2 theater. Emily really likes Chinese buffets, so we’ve been trying out various eateries. Liam has decided that miniature golf is one of the best things in the world, so we’ve gone golfing a couple of times. Maggie still presents some challenges. It seems there are very few things to do after dark with a two-year old. I’ve been taking her to the library a lot, and when it was warm enough, for nature walks down by the river. If anybody has any ideas, please let me know!

I’ve been having a tremendous lack of motivation to write anything here lately. I don’t know if it’s just the periodic realization that I’m trying to do too much and the corresponding short-lived attempt to cut back, or that I have too many other interesting distractions competing for my attention, but it has been hard to set virtual pen to virtual paper for a while.

This morning, however, I received a surprising bit of encouragement from a fellow named Stephen Davison. I’ve never met Stephen, but he was kind enough to drop some touchingly nice words on the site which have served to help revive my flagging enthusiasm a bit. Thanks, Stephen!

(Incidentally, do drop by Stephen’s website. He’s an Australian actor/sculptor/man about town, and has some interesting stuff there.)

I’ve been friends with Barry Brake since we were both attending rival high schools, but going to the same church. He’s a brilliant guy, with both an incisive mind, which comes through in his speech and writing, and dextrous fingers, which come through in his music. He did the music at Sea World for The Shamu Show a few years back, has played regularly with a jazz trio for over a decade, and is always good for a fascinating conversation on some topic or another.

Barry started this new year with surgery to remove cancer. Unfortunately, it doesn’t appear that the results were as good as he and his doctors had hoped for. He’ll be beginning chemotherapy on Monday. While that is inevitably a slightly-to-terrifically miserable experience, his doctors are optimistic that it will have good results. (His cancer is evidently of a type that responds well to chemo.)

Those who are interested can follow Barry’s progress on his site here. Those who pray, please add Barry to your list.

I’ve had Corey Doctorow’s Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom on my reading list for a while, without realizing that it hadn’t actually been released yet. Today it was set loose, to my delight, not only in paper form, but also in a variety of electronic formats that can be downloaded and swapped freely. (For you web types, there’s even a particularly nice CSS trick in the HTML version.)

Corey’s motivation for making his novel available at no charge? One of the more compelling arguments of the musicians who have embraced free music swapping over record contracts as the way to get their material to a listening public: obscurity is a greater enemy to the artist than is piracy. Since this is his first novel, he wants to get it into as many hands as possible, figuring the word-of-month buzz will do more to increase his sales than the sharing will decrease them. Should be an interesting experiment.

I’m to Chapter 3 so far, and it looks like every bit the interesting novel that I’d hoped.

For various reasons, it has become apparent to me that we need something better for handling incoming calls than just Caller ID and voicemail. These are the features I want:

• Restrict calls on a per-number basis
• Restrict calls at certain times of day
• Ask who caller wants to talk to
• Page that person with the caller ID info
• If that person doesn’t pick up, take a message
• Convert that message to MP3, email it to that person

If anyone has any suggestions for something that would fit the bill, I’d very much like to hear about it. It can be standalone, or run on Mac, Linux, or Windows. (I’d cheerfully buy a box off eBay just for this application.)

This looks like it might have potential.

My Dad has worked for the San Antonio Police Department for a couple of decades now. This has always struck me as a somewhat unexpected direction for someone with such a strong mind, excellent academic qualifications, and good work ethic. He could easily be making several times what the city can pay him by working as a consultant, but has chosen to remain where he is, even through the times that they’ve treated him pretty shabbily.

One thing that comes through when I talk to him about his work is how much he values the fact that, through his job, he’s able to make significant positive changes to people’s lives. At first, when he was doing hostage negotiation and crisis management, that effect was immediate and profound. Now that he’s involved in the victim assistance unit, the change he’s able to help people bring about is longer term, but no less far-reaching.

Another friend of mine, Steve Knight, is an ex-military man who has been working in the medical profession for many years and doing quite well financially. He recently got laid off due to cuts at the lab where he had been, and after a couple of months of soul-searching, decided to go to truck driving school to fulfill a lifelong dream of being a trucker. The chance to “live in the moment,” as he puts it, has brought him a tremendous amount of pleasure and satisfaction. Talking with him over Christmas made it very clear to me that he felt he had made a great choice, even though he could have done better financially by continuing to do med tech work.

These two men came strongly to mind when I happened across an article in Fast Company entitled What Should I Do With My Life?. The author, Po Bronson, talks to a number of people who have, like Steve and my Dad, searched out professions that really allow them to pursue some of their life goals in a meaningful way.

The article addresses squarely what I regularly feel about the work I’ve had in the computer industry: though it’s quite stimulating intellectually, and pays the bills more than adequately, it doesn’t feed into the things that I feel are important. Shortly before I married Kathy and became a family man, I had thought fairly seriously about pursuing counseling credentials so that I could be doing something more worthwhile with my days. Since I’ve assumed the role of paterfamilias, I’ve been happier to treat the job as a means to the end of supporting the family, rather than something from which meaning and value should spring. However, I’m still occasionally nagged by the feeling that if I’m investing 40 hours or more per week at something, it should be something more meaningful and of more lasting value than a computer game or a billing system.

I suppose the New Year is an appropriate time to mull one’s direction, to evaluate whether the short-term decisions one is making are congruent with one’s long term goals. I’m off to order the book on which the article is based, and to plan some quality time with some good music, hot tea, and thought-provoking reading material.

We’ve been enjoying the holidays a great deal, in spite of not getting enough rest. Kathy’s mystery present to me turned out to be a lovely burgundy recliner. (“Feeling middle aged yet?” Chris asked when I told him about it.) My old recliner stayed with the Denton house when we sold it two and a half years ago, so I’m enjoying having a “Daddy Chair” again. (It seems that one of the kids are in it more often than not, though!) I gave Kathy a cave adventure tour at Natural Bridge Caverns, which she seemed excited about.

We got some great visiting in with Chris, who had come in from Georgia along with Amy, the woman he’s been dating now for about nine months. We’d gotten to meet Amy briefly on our trip to Virginia earlier in the year, and very much enjoyed getting to have some more protracted and less hurried time with the two of them. Ross and Johanna, his girlfriend of two years, were also in town. It’s always a treat to see them, though it seemed a bit rushed this year due to everyone’s busy schedules. We also enjoyed a fair bit of excellent time with the usual local suspects, which left us both happier and heavier than before the season started.

I caught the latest installment in Peter Jackson’s film versions of Tolkiens masterworks last Thursday. Though this second film took more liberties with the books than the first one did (and more than I would have expected from interviews with Jackson earlier on), the deviations work very well for all but the Tolkien purist.

Gollum merits special mention. The voicing and animation combine to create a wonderfully realized, painfully conflicted creature. The dialogues that externalize the tension between his desires to get the ring back and to treat the hobbits decently are little roller coaster rides, careening back and forth in a way that’s both sad and funny simultaneously.

Equally impressive is the computer generated “cast of thousands” that comes into play at the battle of Helm’s Deep. It’s just amazing to watch these massive armies clash so dramatically, and leaves me eager to see what Jackson’s going to be able to pull off in the last film. (And makes me wonder if everything else is going to be an anticlimax for him once the trilogy is complete.)

We had a dramatic storm yesterday morning that apparently knocked out our heater when a power surge hit. We’ve got a call in to the repair folks, but until then are running space heaters, wrapping in blankets, and finding reasons to fire up the oven. Fortunately, Christmas allows us lots of excuses to bake.

Kathy’s very excited about whatever it is she’s come up with for me for Christmas. I’m normally pretty patient when it comes to waiting for such things, but Kathy’s enthusiasm has piqued my curiosity. I thought I had it all figured out yesterday, but evidently I would have failed out of the Father Brown Detective school; I had thought she was having someone to come in to work over the piano, but the A above middle C is just as out of tune as ever, so the mystery remains to be resolved…

Crockett Elementary put on their fourth grade Christmas show last night. Though we arrived just before it started and ended up standing in the back of the overcrowded auditorium, we had a great time watching the kids do their stuff.

We were especially delighted with Emily’s solo: three verses of Go, Tell it on the Mountain with the entire fourth grade class backing her up on the chorus. I’ve known for a while that she has a great ear for pitch, but she’s also been developing some very good vocal control lately. Though a bit nervous, she carried it off admirably.

Nice job, fourth graders!