With all due respect to the good people at Milton Bradley, I really hate the game Candy Land. It’s trite, boring, and deterministic, and short of watching “Batman & Robin” again, there are few ways I can think of that I wouldn’t rather spend time.

Which, of course, means the kids love it. I keep trying to convince them that it would save a lot of time and energy if we’d just flip a coin to decide who would win if we actually played, since there’s no strategy to the game, or indeed any decisions to be made at all. But they insist. And eventually, I break down.

The things we do for those kids.

3:00pm

Baby: Blah blah blah blah…
Daddy: Aww, cute! She’s saying “Daddy!”
Mommy: No, no, she said “Mommy!”

3:00am

Baby: Blah blah blah blah…
Daddy: Honey, the baby’s calling you.
Mommy: No, she distinctly said “paterfamilias.”

Margaret has recently decided that life as a biped is the life for her, and has begun toddling around vertically. She’s not 100% stable yet, but has gotten up to about 12 steps consecutively, which I’m convinced has been the upper limit only because she gets too busy smiling to bother with balance anymore. It’s great fun to watch.

I’ve ranted a bit before about Majestic, the game EA has been working on that immerses you in a conspiracy theory thriller by calling you on the phone, sending you faxes and emails, and various other means. It’s now available for any of you with a PC and Internet connection to try out at www.ea.com. I played through Episodes 0 and 1 when it was still in testing, and was impressed with how well the experience works. It’s a lot of fun, and totally different from any game you’ve played before. Episode 0 is free, so give it a shot!

We hosted a birthday party for Abigail over the weekend. Unfortunately, a lot of the people we invited didn’t RSVP. (You know who you are! Feel guilt! Feel shame! Feel remorse!) However, we still had a good turnout, and Abigail had a marvelous time. I was particularly proud of Emily, who instead of being petulant that she wasn’t the center of attention, did everything she could to make sure that Abby’s party was special. I learn something from these kids once in a while.

Anyway, we grilled, swam, opened presents, and ate ourselves silly. I made 2 pounds of my favorite salsa verde. Mom McMains picked up a Barbie pinata for us, which was greeted with a certain amount of dismay until we realized that it would afford us the all-too-rare opportunity to beat Barbie senseless with a large stick. One of the neighborhood children, who apparently had a lot of pent-up Barbie-related anger, had to be pulled off the pinata so the other kids could get at the candy that was spilling out.

If you don’t have a fast connection or a fair bit of patience, move along — nothing to see here.

Still around? Good. Check out Peter Gabriel’s new Father, Son. It made me all misty-eyed.

Also, is that Lyle Lovett in the second video?

This weekend, I received a check in the mail for $0.17. It was apparently my share of the proceeds from a class action lawsuit against one of the banks with whom I used to have a credit card. Though I never noticed anything amiss with their business conduct, I was apparently callously bilked out of nearly enough money to buy a gumball without being aware of it! Thank heaven for the ceaseless vigilance of the American system of jurisprudence.

Why do I suspect that the only people who got more than the price of first-class postage out of this were the lawyers?

On a recent date night, Kathy and I caught Moulin Rouge at the $2.00 theater in town. Though bawdy enough that it can by no means be considered a family-friendly film, I was hugely impressed with it, especially the wonderfully creative music. (Who knew young Obi-Wan could sing like that?) The film borrows freely from the pop music of the last three decades, interspersing The Police’s “Roxanne” with The Sound of Music theme with Elton John’s “Your Song” and many others. Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman carry off their leads so well that the music just seems a natural extension of what’s going on in the story, lending emotional heights and depths to the straightforward story that would otherwise be unachievable. An artful combination of humor, drama, and pathos makes this a film well worth watching — you’ll come away singing compulsively.

Emily returned from her annual summer trip to New York about two weeks ago. We’ve really been glad to have her around again, and are enjoying her sweet disposition and pleasant company once more. She came back with gifts for the whole family. In a particularly touching show of her knowledge of my tastes, she presented me with a tin of jalepeno cheese dip, which I gobbled immediately.

After completing his Radio/Television/Film degree at the University of Texas, my buddy Ross Richie moved out to California so that he could get involved in the film industry. It’s been a long time coming, but his tenacity in Hollywood is finally paying off, as things are moving forward on one of his banner projects, a film version of Matt Wagner’s Mage comic book. Touchstone just announced that F. Gary Gray, who did Friday and The Negotiator, will be directing the film. Ross is very pleased with the choice, and I’m more and more excited to see what will become of this project. The script is great, and Gray has a good shot at bringing it to life in the way it should be.