Blue Man Group is one of my favorite theater troupes. Among their shenanigans is the occassional run of fake advertisements, many of which are documented on their website. This morning, I noticed a new set of fake ads running on The Onion. I gathered them up, and present them here for your amusement and edification:

Texas has been temporarily transformed into heaven, as Autumn sweeps in and we’re enjoying some of the most glorious weather I can remember. We celebrated by buzzing down to New Braunfels for some delightful outdoor BBQ at the New Braunfels Smokehouse with Dad McMains and Lana, and then having Mom McMains and a couple of other friends from San Antonio up for a swim and feed.

I took a stab at a new variety of salsa (a sort of stewed vegetable affair, served hot) which was well-received. Kathy also has been installing a new dishwasher, since our old one was eaten by rodents. (Really!) Emily is readying her bid for Student Council Representative. Her strategy thus far seems to be using permanent markers to make her posters, thus ensuring that anyone who passes nearby will be rendered woozy from fume inhalation and will therefore be open to whatever suggestions she sees fit to implant in their heads.

Thanks to Kathy’s tireless efforts, Maggie is nearly toilet trained. She’s gotten through whole days without accidents, and has received effusive praise from the rest of the family whenever she makes a deposit in her little child potty. This has, however, had the unfortunate side effect that guests to our home have unexpectedly found themselves presented with a bowl full of urine by a grinning naked toddler.

I’m faced by a dilemma with Changing Lanes. I thought it was an excellent movie, but it doesn’t sound right to say I liked it. It focuses on two men, played by Ben Affleck and Samuel Jackson, who have a minor auto accident, and the escalation of animosity that occurs between them over the course of a very busy day. As they get progressively angrier at each other, they become willing to abandon their professed morality to get revenge for the wrongs they’ve suffered.

It’s a vivid portrait of the eyeless, toothless world that results from those choices, and a critical examination of what one bases one’s personal moral code on. Surprisingly, the end of the film is quite satisfying emotionally, not leaving us in the mire we’ve had to go through, but showing the men finally taking responsibility for themselves and their choices, though not in the facile way one generally expects from Hollywood melodrama.

Altogether, not a particularly easy movie to watch at times, but quite good. The discomfort it produces is not there, as sometimes seems to be the case, for its own sake, but is instead designed to make the results of a mentality of revenge painfully clear — a task at which it succeeds admirably.

Storms and the vigorously windy weather that often precede them are my favorite times to enjoy the outdoors. I’ve recently moved into my new office at home, which while snug, includes double french doors that open directly to the outside. As thunder and lightning descended on San Marcos this afternoon, I’ve been able to throw the doors wide open and enjoy the rain belting down five feet beyond my computer. If one has to work, this is the way to do it!

Thanks to Origin for allowing me the flexibility to work from home a couple days a week.

Eric Siddall does a very nice job of capturing some of the things that have been vaguely lurking in the back of my head since George W. started talking about the U.S. attacking Iraq, with or without the support of the international community, congress, or even the American people. If we claim to be a nation of laws, we need to act like it in the international community. Well worth a read.

In this Sunday’s sermon, our pastor was pontificating on the sense of emotional distance and isolation that afflicts modern man. He mentioned Mother Teresa’s quote: “The greatest disease is not TB or leprosy, but the feeling of being uncared for, unwanted, deserted by everyone. The greatest disease is the lack of love.” He went on to cite modern communications advances, polling the congregation to find out how many present had cell phones, pagers, friends in other countries they kept in contact with, etc. “And even with all of these amazing communication tools, we still often find ourselves alone and lonely,” he concluded.

That got me to thinking about the benefits of these tools. Though they certainly do allow us to keep up with more people than we otherwise could, my gut instinct is that they actually contribute to the problem of loneliness. In the same way that a hunk of butter is spread progressively thinner as you split it across more pieces of bread, I suspect our attention and capacity for meaningful relationship is strained further the more people we add into our lives. Though it may be my inner introvert talking, I suspect that relationships become richer, and loneliness less of a problem, when one’s social circle has some limits. Further, I suspect that tools that make it easy to keep up with 100 people also contribute to not really knowing those people in anything more than a superficial way.

I certainly find my Real Life friendships richer than my online friendships, as a rule. In fact, I can only think of a couple people that I’ve met on the Internet and not had in-person interaction with that I would really call friends. I’m curious to know whether others have had the same feeling of searching the earth for like-minded people, and ending up back home.

Kathy checked out The American President from the San Marcos Library recently, and we finally got around to watching it last night. (Incidentally, I think it’s wonderful that libraries make films available for borrowing — they’re free, you get them for a week, and the late fees are far more managable than those of the video stores. If only DVD’s were durable enough to survive the library!)

This is a fun movie. A mix of political drama, comedy, and romance work together well to tell the story of a widower president who falls for a lobbyist while in office. Though the political side of it was a bit facile — too much “just do the right thing and everything will work out fine” — it’s an engaging and well-written story, and worth a viewing. Especially at library prices.

Thanks to Chris, I’m enjoying the musical stylings of Me First and the Gimme Gimmes today. They’re a punk band that covers show tunes, classic rock, and other unlikely selections. Great fun. You haven’t really heard “Stand By Your Man” until you’ve heard it done by an all-male punk ensemble.

No music on their site, unfortunately, but if you like silly punk rock (and hey! who doesn’t?), these guys are definitely worth a purchase.

Ok, I’ve finally gotten off my plush posterior and written up our Virginia vacation. Read and enjoy at 50 Hours, 4 Kids, 1 Van!

Being the good Christian I am, I skipped our regular Wednesday night Bible study to see Westlake High School’s Production of Steve Martin’s Picasso at the Lapin Agile with my buddy Ben. I had read the play a few years back when it was first published, but had never seen it staged, so was very excited to have the chance, especially at the low, low bargain price of $5.00.

The play, as I’d remembered, was excellent. One of the things that I really love about Steve Martin’s work is that he manages to take on big questions, to explore the world of Ideas, while at the same time making me endanger my health with laughter. And surprisingly, the Westlake High School gang did a superb job with it. Their staging was sparse, but effective, and the actors very capable and well-rehearsed, without the awkward timing that so often afflicts non-professional stage productions. Far better than lots of community theater productions I’ve seen (and paid a lot more for).

Bravo to all concerned! If you’re in or near Austin, you’ve still got a few shows you can make. (The $5.00 included cookies afterwards. You can’t beat that!)