A while back, I was delighted to discover the Prairie Home Companion [link corrected] website. “At last!” I thought to myself, “I’ll be able to listen to PHC when I have time, rather than having to try to catch it at the painfully inconvenient times NPR insists on broadcasting.” I was thwarted, however, as they were only posting little selected bits of each show online that I didn’t have the patience to click through, knowing I’d still be missing a lot.

I sent the webmaster a grumpy email, and recieved a gracious reply, explaining that while they thought it was a great idea to have the entire shows available online for listening, they didn’t have enough drive space — an answer I was reluctantly forced to accept.

Well, since then, evidently disks have become cheaper or their budget has become larger, because the archives now feature entire shows you can listen to. Additionally, when taping is going on, you can eavesdrop on live audio or video feeds from the show. So if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a whole lot of listening to do.

As one who abhors long drives to and from work, and yet has difficulty living far enough into the big city to avoid them, I’ve always been a fan of good public transit. Unfortunately, that’s often been a theoretical enthusiasm, for while the bus seemed an attractive option when I was 14 years old and wanted to get down to the mall to drop quarters in the Defender machine, its disadvantages have seemed onerous since I got my drivers’ license. Add that to the degree to which everything is spread out in Texas, and I haven’t been on any public transit since the light rail in Dallas, which we rode mostly as a lark on the way to the zoo one day.

So when I happened across a link on Slashdot to a new kind of transit system being tested in Cardiff Bay, I was very intrigued. This systems consists of a network of interlinked roadways that run computer-controlled electric cars in little channels. The cars carry up to about 4 people, and guide themselves to the destination you choose without any human guidance. This circumvents the main downfall of existing public transit systems — that if you’re not going where it’s going, you’re out of luck. The cost would apparently be comparable to existing systems, if not actually less. It’s apparently best suited to small to medium sized cities, with a distribution between stations of about half a kilometer. There’s a news article here, a technical paper here, and some information on the US version being developed by Raytheon here.

We have been having a sort of slow-motion, protracted row with the city for several months over our plans for the garage. Since we like to be able to put friends up temporarily who are needing a place to stay, we had planned to convert it into a sort of mother’s-in-law suite, with a kitchenette, a bathroom, and a bedroom. Kathy submitted several different versions of this plan to the permit people, who kept returning it to her for various reasons. After several attempts, each time making all the changes they’d asked for, they’d come up with another batch of changes. Grr.

I finally decided that my wife didn’t need that kind of aggravation, so went down and had a 20 minute heart-to-heart with one of the guys. I took careful notes of what he said, while he alternated between coming up with more expensive things to add to the plans and saying “honestly, we’re not trying to be a pain about this.” I’m afraid I went home unconvinced on the last point.

Anyway, we finally resubmitted the plans, scrapping the kitchenette altogether, as the zoning people thought it looked too much like turning our house into a duplex — never mind that the whole house would have all been on the same utility meters and have doors connecting everything together. Today, at long last, they approved our plans, so we can get back to finishing out our long-stalled renovation. (And in spite of all of that, we have had a friend staying in there for a couple months already, bare insulation and all.)

Today I found, floating in a half-full gallon container of 1% milk, several slices of sausage, some of which bore the marks of little teeth.

“Why on earth…” I started, and then thought better of it. There was no answer to the question I was forming that would justify floating, half-masticated sausage rafts in the milk. I just resolved to chalk it up as one of life’s mysteries and move on.

Apple made a bevy of announcements on Monday. The two that most interested me were iPhoto and the new iMac.

I’ve been looking for some decent software to organize and manage our photo collection for a month or two now, so the announcement of iPhoto was manna for us. We’ve had a digital camera for several years now, and have accumulated over 3,000 photos – not a huge number, but enough that trying to deal with them becomes pretty unwieldy. I downloaded iPhoto immediately after the announcement, and loaded up all the photos I could lay hands on Monday night. Kathy’s been going through and categorizing them with appropriate keywords as well so that we can instantly call up all the photos of Emily, or every photo with Abigail and Kathy together, for example. The printing seems to work well, and the ability to design and lay out a book is a stroke of genius, though we haven’t yet seen fit to plunk down $30 to put it to the test. There are a few rough edges in the interface yet, and it has crashed a time or two on us when we’ve tried to import a whole pile of photos at once, but it’s utility far outweighs its disadvantages.

The new iMac is, of course, an eye-catcher. It seems to be the first hardware fruits of Apple’s digital hub strategy, with more ports for connecting various gadgets to it than any Mac to date. Though it doesn’t really do anything new, it’s a remarkably powerful machine for an entry-level desktop. (Oddly enough, for the first time Apple’s entry-level portables are actually cheaper than their desktop machines.) The new design looks like it will be more at home in the world of cubicles and corporations than the old machines were. Combined with OS X and Apple’s various iApps, it will bring a lot of utility to the consumer as well. But my favorite aspect of the announcement? You can now have a complete system for creating and burning your own DVD’s for $1,800. Cool.

Miscellaneous observations: I just noticed the tagline Apple has posted for iPhoto: “Shoot like Ansel. Organize like Martha.” Hee hee. Steve Jobs is getting more gracious in his old age. He handled Time’s premature leak of the iMac design and a demo gone wrong with much less fury than has been typical in the past. The new iMac video animates the machine with motions eerily similar to those of the lamp in Luxo Jr., a short produced by Steve’s other concern, Pixar. I was surprised as the monolith with the new iMac on it rose during Steve’s presentation that there was no “Also Sprach Zarathustra” thundering from the sound system.

Yesterday I followed Greg’s lead and bought a Tascam US-428, a nifty little unit that connects to a computer and turns it into a multi-track digital recording studio. I have been using the free version of the Pro Tools software for some small recording projects up to now, but adding the US-428 will give a lot more flexibility than I’ve had with Pro Tools. It has built-in MIDI ports to connect the Korg synthesizer, and the 24 bit D/A audio converters should provide higher-quality sound than the built-in audio hardware on my Mac. I’m particularly excited that the unit comes with Cubasis, a software package that allows on-the-fly effects to be added to the mix.

The unit should be arriving in about a week, and I have a couple of projects that I want to get recorded, so hound me if I don’t have anything interesting musically up here in a month or two.

Today I got one of the strangest spams yet to grace my email box: on offer to make me an ordained minister for $30. I had no idea there was a grey market for this sort of thing. Juicy bits follow:

Minister [Homer] Simpson has the power to make you a LEGALLY ORDAINED MINISTER within 48 hours!!!!

BE ORDAINED NOW!

As a minister, you will be authorized to perform the rites and ceremonies of the church!!

WEDDINGS
MARRY your BROTHER, SISTER, or your BEST FRIEND!! (ed note: I’m pretty sure the church would have problems with me marrying my brother.)
Don’t settle for being the BEST MAN OR BRIDES’ MAID
Most states require that you register your certificate (THAT WE SEND YOU) with the state prior to conducting the ceremony.

FUNERALS
A very hard time for you and your family
Don’t settle for a minister you don’t know!!
Most states require that you register your certificate (THAT WE SEND YOU) with the state prior to conducting the ceremony.

BAPTISMS
You can say “WELCOME TO THE WORLD!!!! I AM YOUR MINISTER AND YOUR UNCLE!!”
What a special way to welcome a child of God.

FORGIVENESS OF SINS
The Catholic Church has practiced the forgiveness of sins for centuries
**Forgiveness of Sins is granted to all who ask in sincerity and willingness to change for the better!! (ed note: Zowie! And you’ll be able to turn water into wine! And leap tall buildings in a single bound!)

VISIT CORRECTIONAL FACILITIES
Since you will be a Certified Minister, you can visit others in need!!
Preach the Word of God to those who have strayed from the flock (ed note: you can even visit the guy who sent this email!)

WANT TO START YOUR OWN CHURCH??
After your LEGAL ORDINATION, you may start your own congregation!!

At this point you must be wondering how much the Certificate costs. Right? Well, let’s talk about how much the program is worth. Considering the value of becoming a CERTIFIED MINISTER I’d say the program is easily worth $100. Wouldn’t you agree? However, it won’t cost that much. Not even close! My goal is to make this life changing program affordable so average folks can benefit from the power of it.

Since I know how much you want to help others, you’re going to receive your Minister Certification for under $100.00… Not even $50.00… You are going to receive the entire life-changing course for only $29.95. (ed: what, no payment plan?)

For only $29.95 you will receive:
1. 8-inch by 10-inch certificate IN COLOR, WITH GOLD SEAL.
(CERTIFICATE IS PROFESSIONALLY PRINTED BY AN INK PRESS)
2. Proof of Minister Certification in YOUR NAME!!
3. SHIPPING IS FREE!!!

Thank you for your business.

…at least not until December 26. Instead, turn off your computer and go spend time with the people you love. Eat ham, turkey, and/or your vegetarian dish of choice. Wallow in 48 consecutive hours of “A Christmas Story” or “It’s a Wonderful Life,” depending on whether your tastes run to Shepherd or Capra. Take a drive and ogle the Christmas lights. Wear your pajamas until 2:00, and play with toys all day. Suck down the eggnog. Read from the gospel according to Matthew and from Dickens. Hum carols, play with children, and start a snowball fight. Fill a stocking.

The pivotal chapter of the Great Dance begins at Christmas, and we have the opportunity to be a part of it. Star of wonder. God and sinners reconciled in the person of a diapered infant. The most high made most low. Joy from the most unexpected quarter imaginable. Glory, indeed.

Merry Christmas, all.

After having marched around for months with the trailer for this film on my laptop, showing it to anyone who would hold still for 3 minutes and getting chills every time, I buzzed off from work early on Wednesday to catch one of the first matinee showings in Austin. Even today I don’t feel like I’ve fully absorbed the thing — it may take a few more viewings yet — but here are my first disordered thoughts.

Holy cow. It’s Middle Earth. Right there on screen. Jackson has brought that realm to life in an entirely realistic visceral way. The acting is good enough that you rarely notice it’s going on at all. It’s definitely not a film for children — the violence is as intense (though not as gory) as that in Gladiator. I want to see the other 2 films right now. Kathy, who is not a big fan of fantasy and who often comes away from movies wishing she’d spent the couple of hours differently, loved it as well. I want to live in Rivendell. Saruman seems better defined in the film than what I remember from the books for some reason.

Anyway, if you’ve read the books, go see the film right away. If you haven’t read the books, go see the film in two weeks, after the people who have read the books have seen it.

Wagner beware — there’s a new Ring cycle in town.

The other day, the kids were playing together at home. Kathy and I had wandered to another part of the house, and returned to this picture: Liam dressed in Abby’s animal print shirt and purple pants and dressing her hair.

A startling moment for a parent, as you can imagine.