Stupid Guy Trip V: The Stupiding

One of the traditions I’ve enjoyed a great deal over the past six years has been the Stupid Guy Trip: an annual-ish assembling of several long-time male friends for a testosterone-fueled visit to some city or another for food, beer, and endless “your mom” jokes. Past trips have been to Las Vegas, Chicago, Santa Fe, and Seattle, and have included casino gambling, opera, architectural tours, visits to national historical sites, “Evil Dead: The Musical”, gnome theft, Blue Man Group shows, and baseball.

This year we decided that Boston would be the destination. Due to some scheduling difficulties, this turned out to be the most sparsely attended trip thus far, with only myself, Chris and Mike attending. We all set down in the Boston airport on Friday afternoon with 3 days the city stretching before us and absolutely no idea of how we would spend that time. Our first order of business was, predictably, to find some food, so after dropping $15 on a 7-day transit pass, we bought a guidebook, wandered up to the North End and enjoyed a really excellent meal in a tiny little restaurant with only 7 tables. We then hopped on the subway and a bus to get out to our hotel and settled in comfortably at the Sheraton Newton, which was, surprisingly, built directly over an interstate and had really helpful and friendly staff. A short trip across the street to Buff’s Pub capped our travel day nicely.

The next day we scored a hat trick of touring delights. The first was the Freedom Trail Walk with the Histrionic Academy, an hour and a half ramble through the parks, historic structures, and cemeteries of Boston led by a young woman with an surprisingly powerful voice and a penchant for bursting into song. We then enjoyed some clam and fish chowders at the famous Union Oyster Bar before proceeding on to board the Tall Ship Formidable, a square-rigged sailing vessel on which we had booked a tour around the harbor that included a mock cannon battle with her sister ship, the Poincare. While we were a bit disappointed that the cannons turned out to be miniatures, about 10 inches long, the weather was perfect and the sailing a treat.

We then enjoyed some excellent Pho at a nearby Vietnamese restaurant and headed for Fenway Park. Tickets for that night’s game with the Toronto Blue Jays had sold out months before, but we still had hopes that we’d be able to procure some. Official channels didn’t yield any results, so we resorted to the friendly folks selling tickets along the street and were, after much back and forth, able to get in to the game. The Sox thumped the Jays soundly while we goggled at the grandeur of the Park, the enthusiasm of the crowd, and the price of the beer. Particular highlights included the crowd participation when “Sweet Caroline” came over the P.A. and seeing a couple balls whacked clean over the Green Monster.

Sunday was a bit more tame: we started off the day with a jaunt up to Harvard, where we poked around the venerable campus and its surroundings for a while. We were entranced by the Carpenter Center, a building designed by Le Corbusier, and went in through an unlocked door to explore the interior. Unfortunately, the door locked behind us, and it took us 20 minutes of architectural appreciation alternating with panic to find a door that would let us out without sounding a fire alarm. Breathing a sigh of relief, we spent another hour enjoying the bookstores and an excellent lunch at Tamarind Bay before heading back in toward the center of town.

There we visited Trinity Church, an stunningly beautiful structure which has been on the Top 10 lists in architecture for the past century. The church features several windows by John La Farge, who pioneered various techniques for layering glass to create an amazingly rich dimensional look. After the church booted us out for their evening services, we headed to the Top of the Hub, a restaurant on the 54th floor of The Prudential Center, where we watched the sun drop over the city while peregrine falcons, which nest in the upper floors of the building, wheeled about us. Mike pointed out that we could actually see into Fenway Park from our stratospheric perch, and that since the beer was actually cheaper at the restaurant, we might do well to bring binoculars and a transistor radio there next time we wanted to watch the Red Sox play.

The final stop for Sunday was Paddy O’s for a show by The Gobshites, an enthusiastically profane “acousticelticore” punk-ish Irish band. They were a load of fun, super high energy, very friendly to their Texas visitors, and definitely not suitable for children.

Monday was departure day. We headed up to the Boston Commons to buy some bagels and watch people in the park while eating our al fresco breakfast. Once filled, we moved on to the Boston Public Library, home to some magnificent murals by John Singer Sargent and a miniature book exhibit. Mike and I then parted company with Chris, who had an earlier flight to catch. We headed over to MIT for a last architectural tour before leaving, highlights of which included Frank Gehry’s Stata Center, Simmons Hall, which was designed by Steven Holl, and the MIT Chapel, designed by Eero Saarinian, the same fellow who was responsible for the St. Louis Arch.

And then homeward bound! Mike and I both took advantage of the opportunity to switch flights from our original overcrowded one to another 45 minutes later, netting both a travel voucher and an upgrade to first class — only the second time in my life I’ve flown in the fancy section of the plane. This time was much better than the last, when the flight attendant spilled coffee all over me within 5 minutes of my arrival on the plane.

It was a super trip: lots of wonderful food, a chance to explore one of America’s great cities, excellent company, a delightful ballgame, and tasty beer. Thanks, Boston!

Does This Body Make Me Look Fat?

I’m considering two curiosities today:

Oddity The First:

I have a brother named Chris. He stands 6’4″, is quick-witted, has the McMains family good looks(!), and generally makes a significant and favorable impression on people. So it’s only natural that when people forget my name, they might come up with his once in a while.

The peculiar thing, however, is that people who have never met him — indeed, many who don’t even know that I have a brother — will also call me “Chris”. I get called by his name about 75% of the time when people call me something other than my actual name (discounting epithets). I would suggest that we perhaps got our proper names switched when we were younger, and the correct names left their mark, but nobody that I know of seems inclined to call him by name. Strange indeed.

Oddity The Second:

I bumped into Tim the Glassblower this morning. He asked me if I’d lost weight, claiming that I must have dropped at least 15 pounds since we met. Other people, including my own dear Abigail, ask similar things with a good deal of regularity. But I’ve hovered within a 5 pound range for three years now, a far longer period of time than I’ve known Tim. My friend David Barnard has also reported a similar phenomena: everyone seems to think we’re fatter than we are, and are then surprised by our actual physical presence. Baffling. Perhaps I should join Weight Watchers and rake in the rewards for my continual, though nonexistent, weight loss.

But How Much Longer Will I Be Able To Outsmart Them?

Just got a call from Shawn, a friend of mine. Here’s the reconstructed transcript:

  • Maggie: Hello?
  • Shawn: Can I speak with your Dad?
  • Maggie: Who is it?
  • Shawn: The President.
  • Maggie: Daddy! It’s Mister Shawn!
  • Me: Hello?
  • Shawn: Dude, your kids are getting too smart.
  • Me: Yeah, Maggie’s pretty much the brains of this operation.

Weekend To-Do: Post-Mortem

  • Help move refrigerator, stove. Use tools. Narrowly avoid self-inflicted injury.
  • Help erect fence. Feel disproportionately manly.
  • Lead music at church. Fail to drive congregants to apostasy or evacuation, in spite of usual fears.
  • Endure three hundred twenty second continuous day of rain. Wonder who moved San Marcos to England without telling me.
  • Watch fireworks from semi-illicit perch in top of library. Enjoy six-year-old’s observation: “I just saw a bird explode!”
  • Carry projector and screen 1.5 miles on foot, resolving any lingering doubts about own sanity.

The Last Days of the Pool

A week ago I posted an advertisement on the San Marcos Craig’s List Free section:

We have an approximately 8,000 gallon above-ground swimming pool in our backyard. It’s shaped like this:

 ___
(___)

It has served well for the seven years we’ve been in our house, but since we live only about 5 minutes from the river, we’ve decided to just go there when we want to have a swim instead of keeping up with a pool.

Thus, we’d like to give the pool to someone who will enjoy it. If you’re willing to come and break it down and take it, it’s yours. Skimmer, chlorinator, pump, lining, walls all included. We’ll also throw in any useful pool chemicals we still have around.

Please respond via email or call at 940 239 4202 if you’re interested so that we can give you the location and arrange a time. Thanks!

Once the advertisement went up, I had 5 responses within 10 minutes, and quickly yanked the ad back down. We did a little back and forth with a few people, and finally got things lined up for a family down in San Antonio with 3 young kids to come adopt it.

This was a hard decision for us, as we’ve gotten a ton of use out of the pool over the past several years. The kids all love to swim, and it made a great focal point for backyard parties. However, we had to run the pump pretty much continuously and dump in enormous quantities of chlorine to keep it blue during the hottest parts of summer. The electricity for that combined with chemicals and water added up to a goodly sum — money which seemed ridiculous to spend that way when we have a beautiful river so close by.

The father of the family that agreed to relocate the pool and one of his friends showed up on Sunday to tear the thing down. It ended up being a more formidable task than any of us had anticipated, and eventually required me to jump into the mucky swampwater that remained in it and scoop out the rotting leaf goop that had accumulated by hand. I kept expecting some sort of creature with an abundance of eyes and fins to pop out and strike up a conversation: “I say, what are you doing to my home? I’ve just got it set up the way I like it!”

Surprisingly, after about 5 hours of work, they decided that, since some of the metal bits were rusty, they didn’t want the pool after all. They toted away a fair chunk of the pool parts, but left us with a healthy pile of debris that we’ll be working on breaking down soon ourselves. Still, they contributed a long afternoon of free labor, so we’ve nothing to complain about!

Now the question is: what do we do with the space? Ideas floated so far: outdoor movie theater, garden, volleyball court, washers/horseshoes pit, and miniature golf course. Got any ideas? Let us know!

A Day with Liam

Yesterday was my day to take Liam out on the town for a romp. I had purchased tickets for a special event several weeks before, but had been keeping Liam in suspense until the day of the event.

“What is it Dad?”

“Do you really want to know?”

“Yes, yes, yes, yes!”

“We’re going to go see a 60 foot robot dinosaur that eats cars and shoots fire out of its nose!”

“Daaaaaaaaad! No, really, what is it?”

“Seriously.”

Long pause to reassess whether I was pulling his leg.

“Coooooooool!”

So we embarked, heading north to Austin. We stopped at Cabela’s long enough to visit the shooting gallery and to buy matching $5 multi-tools as a memento of the day, with which I fully expect at least one of us to slice off a finger before week’s end. Once to Austin, we stopped in HEB to pick out some snacks (orange soda, peanuts, and jerky — which is why I don’t get to do the grocery shopping), and then went on to Peter Pan Mini Golf.

Peter Pan has a reputation as the best miniature golf course in Austin. We had never been before, but were taken with its funky fiberglass figures, the friendly attitude, and the nicely laid out holes. Legend has it that most of the figures are the originals, constructed sometime in the early 50’s. (Even the owners don’t remember exactly when they opened the place.) I was further impressed when the fellow running the place, seeing that I didn’t have quite enough money for us to both play a second round, waved us on through anyway. Viva Peter Pan!

From there we moseyed on down to Zilker park. Unfortunately, due to the combination of a lost ATM card, my exhausted wallet, and a “Cash Only” policy, we were unable to swim at Barton Springs and ride the Zilker Zephyr as per my original plan. Curses! Liam wasn’t excited about hiking in the 90° heat, so we went over to the Alamo Drafthouse and got our tickets.

We still had an hour to burn before we could get into the theater, so we wandered around the shopping center, visiting a Mexican restaurant to cool off, play paper and crayon games, and rehydrate. We also stopped in at a music store and an electric bike store where Liam found an electric mini-ATV that he quite liked. He also took advantage of the opportunity to tell everyone all about the giant robot dinosaur we were going to see — news that surprised nobody, as it had been taking up 80% of their parking lot all day.

5:30 finally rolled around, and we trooped into the theater to enjoy 90 minutes of the Draftouse’s delightfully eclectic pre-show footage. Featured this time were a lengthy rhapsody on the blissful life of the future as imagined by filmmakers of the 1950’s, previews for a bunch of B-Grade, MST3K-worthy films, and several cartoons. Nearly all of it was funny, though only some of it intentionally so.

The film we were there to see was Transformers. I was keen to see it because John Rogers, who writes brilliantly and whom I expect to have an opportunity to meet later this year, had a hand in writing it. Liam was keen to see it because he’s an 8 year old boy. It was almost exactly what you’d expect from Michael Bay bringing an 80’s nostalgia property to the big screen, but a notch or two better.

After the movie concluded, we trooped on out to the parking lot for the Robosaurus show. The earlier show had been rained on, dousing Robosaurus’ nostril-mounted flamethrowers, but the announcer assured us that God loved us a great deal more than the people at the earlier show as demonstrated by the fact that the weather was clement and cooperative by the time we assumed our seats. (I also want nostril-mounted flamethrowers, as I imagine they would come in handy in quite a variety of situations.) After a bit of preparation, things got underway.

Rather than bore you with an inevitably inadequate description of the event, I took video and edited it together for your viewing pleasure. Behold, Robosaurus!

After the show, we piled back in the car, pointed our noses south, set the cruise control and napped our way back to San Marcos, dreaming happy dreams of giant robot dinosaurs.

iPhone Quest 2007: Success!

My buddy David went down to San Antonio Thursday night to queue up for Apple’s new iPhone. His patience was rewarded not only with successful acquisition of one of the coveted devices, but also with the chance to enjoy his 15 minutes of fame. He received coverage on:

  • My San Antonio: There was also a superb photo of him on their home page last night, but it has subsequently vanished. I hope David got a copy of it!
  • KSAT News: watch the video for a few seconds of interview. David is surprisingly lucid for someone who has been camping out on a sidewalk all night!
  • His own site: also includes links to an auction for the extra iPhone he picked up. Go buy it and help fund David’s upcoming wedding!

Congratulations, David! I’m looking forward to dropping by and playing with the new gadget.

UPDATE: Enjoy Crazy Apple Rumors’ coverage of iPhone night, which doesn’t feature David at all, right here.

Moving to WordPress

This weblog has always been run on Conversant, an excellent groupware, weblogging and publishing tool created by Macrobyte Resources. I worked for the company back in 2000, and enjoyed that time immensely, thanks both to the superb people I was surrounded by and the great projects we got to work on together. It was a remarkable place, cranking out some cutting-edge communication software with a completely distributed workforce, spread across several states, countries, and time zones. Alas, we eventually all moved in different directions, though Conversant lived on and continued to grow and to be improved.

And while Conversant has served me personally long and well, I’m finally moving the website off of it and on to WordPress, a nifty open-source publishing system that lacks some of the really amazing features that Conversant boasts, but which is easier for me to tweak for myself and which has a large and active community of people doing interesting things with it. This is a tough decision, as I’ve invested a lot into Conversant, and am reluctant to let it go, but after dithering about it for a year, finally feel like the time has come for this site. (I’m still using Conversant for some of the applications I’ve developed for our church, and have no plans to move those any time soon.)

I’ve moved a bit of the old content over already, and will be bringing over more as I’m able to get it exported from the old site. The look and feel will likely change regularly for a while as I experiment and settle in to the new digs, so please be patient if you turn up one day and it suddenly looks like MySpace (eww). This too shall pass.

New Texas State Homepage

The last 3 months of work at the office finally comes to fruition: we’ve launched the new Texas State University site! The old one was some pretty sloppy work, so I’m particularly excited by the quality of this new design.

Especially sexy bits for the technical folks:

  • XHTML Strict.
  • CSS-based design; not a table in sight.
  • Automatically generated headline text images.
  • All content managed through Magnolia, making it easily maintainable.
  • Unobtrusive Javascript, thanks to Prototype, which we all now adore.
  • Microformat output for events.
  • Rising Stars content managed in Magnolia, output to XML, rendered through Flash.
  • All URLs rewritten on the fly by Javascript to enable link tracking.
  • High performance custom caching architecture.

Next projects: give a similar treatment to the other managed sites and get a decent campus-wide events calendar up, going, and integrated with everything else.

Weekend To-Do: Post-Mortem

  • Attend wedding rehearsal, play with band while wife and kids dance and run around. Find out after the fact that the bartender cut Liam off after 8 root beers.
  • Keep kids out far after bedtime, thus ensuring squabbling and grumpiness. Vow never to do so again.
  • Have breakfast with dear out-of-town friends. Laugh heartily at stories. Spray friends with mist of partially-masticated breakfast taco.
  • Attend wedding. Goggle at beauty of dear friends’ mutual love, beauty of setting, quantity of alcohol consumed.
  • Keep kids out far after bedtime, thus ensuring squabbling and grumpiness. Vow never to do so again. Again.
  • Get together with high school music buddy. Play impromptu ukulele/string bass/2 part vocal harmony version of Helter Skelter. Frighten dog.
  • Complete months-overdue contract work.